I’m curious to know if I’m fertile and if my body could support a pregnancy, but I don’t wanna find out litetally

In a certain light, getting amnesia seems like it could be kind of refreshing

A sincere trend forecast

I’m 95% certain that the hot new look for women will be plain t-shirts and relaxed-fit khakis

I mean this in a 50% tongue-in-cheek kind of way but I consider shopping for new clothes to be an investment in my education bc sometimes putting together outfits and being seen in them is my biggest motivator to leave the house

2011 Fall-Winter

When I was 18, I was banging a weed dealer who gave me free weed, and I sold most of it to the other weed dealer I was banging, and I took my profits to the strip club to get lap dances on week nights during the first semester of my freshman year of college, and I still pulled a high GPA.

An Excuse For Me To Mention That People Think I’m Pretty And An Example Of Me Being Petty:

I was out with my mom today and a lady told her, “You have such a pretty daughter,” and after we left, my mom asked me how I feel about the fact that people (ones I know and ones I don’t) are always telling me how good looking I am.

I replied: “I just hope they really think so. I hope they sincerely think I’m physically attractive on the outside, and not like they think I’m ‘beautiful on the inside’ or whatever and are just being polite because it’s something nice to say. Don’t people just tell anyone that they’re pretty?”

She said no, not necessarily. They have nothing to gain from saying I’m pretty if they didn’t really think so. People who know me could easily just say that I’m nice or something. But strangers who don’t know me don’t know what I’m like and they have no reason to just say it.

So I said okay. It’s good to hear.

(It’s hugely important to me and I’m scared of getting old and I’m jealous of my social psychology professor who is 59 and has not a trace of gray in his hair or any receding at all in his hairline and I swear to God I will steal whatever youth-preserving elixir he has discovered)

A short incomplete list of authority figures I want to sleep with

1. One of my university professors
2. A parent of one of my acquaintances (not a close friend)
3. A cop

And one non-authority figure:

4. A cater waiter at a wedding

I’m usually aware of how and when I seem like a callous, judgmental, entitled brat and these days I’m somewhat less insufferable than I used to be but there truly is a point at which people can’t change certain aspects of their nature and I’m at a plateau.

And I’m a lot of things but I’m not really malicious or sadistic and I don’t like to give orders.

Today I accidentally threw away a ticket in a parking garage. The kind you NEED to exit the garage, like, apparently the system could not be overridden for a lost ticket? I doubt that, but it’s what I was told.

Anyway, the ticket is in the garbage can, and I’m afraid to put my hand in there so I just look helplessly at the parking attendant and I don’t verbally ask him to do it but he goes and puts gloves on and gets the ticket for me.

And that’s a metaphor for how things usually end up for me.
Even when I screw up, everything works out. And I don’t exactly have to pay for my consequences. I just knocked on some actual wood (my nightstand) bc I’m genuinely superstitious. But that’s how it’s always been and I don’t know how in the hell I got so lucky but I’m glad for it.

Not sure if I’m so frequently single bc I’m too-faced and too intense, immature and truly lack empathy, or bc I seal myself inside endless layers of emotional walls, I’m “special” and “nobody gets me,” and I have a habit of only being attracted to emotionally unavailable people OR an appealing mix of all of the above.

Though I could easily date someone who I didn’t want, bc I do get offers that I’m not interested in. But one of the few bad things I would never do is lead someone on if I know I don’t like them. Not bc I’m such a fantastic person, but bc I don’t get anything out of that. I don’t care about being admired by anyone who I don’t admire in turn. That’s why I don’t have minions or friends who I don’t respect.